news
08-06-2015, 08:45 PM
By: Chaia Milstein
Newly engaged Monica Travis (not her real name) hadn't really given it much thought until after the fact.
She'd had a great interview, and enjoyed meeting everyone that day, including an employee -- not someone who was formally involved in the interview -- who commented on Travis's ring, mentioning how pretty it was and asking about the wedding. "This was a very positive conversation in which we willingly shared engagement stories," says Travis, "This person seemed genuinely interested and excited."
It wasn't until she got home later that Travis started worrying about the interview: "How well did I articulate my responses? How persuasive was I? How well did I know the product? Did I ask thought-provoking questions? Did I close them hard enough?"
And: "Could the fact that I'm engaged reflect negatively on me? Or is it positive?"
Michelle Diamond (also not her real name) is also currently engaged. She echoes Travis's concern that as women who look like they could bear children -- and perhaps soon -- employers will consider their marital statuses and think, "'Oh, maybe this person isn't someone who will be as available or committed to us as someone else... maybe a man, maybe someone of a different age who doesn't look like they're about to be out of the workplace for a few months, or have commitments caring for someone.' It's a competitiveness issue, compared to other candidates."
Let's back up a minute: Both of these women specifically asked not to be quoted by name because they are concerned about how that might affect their careers. And that is a real concern. In 2014, UK law firm Slater & Gordon found that 40 percent of the 500 hiring managers they surveyed admitted being "wary of hiring a woman of childbearing age." Additionally, if you're a non-gender-conforming woman, wearing a ring of any sort to an interview can look like a great invitation to get asked inappropriate questions about your personal life.
The view from down the road
Chemist by training and current VP of Program Development for a technology and product development company Kateri Paul has interviewed wearing both an engagement ring and a wedding ring. Her first engagement ring was a claddagh; because of that style of ring, "I think people thought I was already married. I stopped wearing it for a while, then we got proper engagement rings."
She comments that during that time in her career, "I'm sure it was noticed that I was thirtysomething and probably on the road to getting married, and didn't have kids, and probably was thinking about kids, but legally they can't ask you that... they try to get that info out of you."
Workplaces that are family-friendly have to go out of their way to advertise that to potential candidates. At one point, Paul's current company's founders were sharing offices with her prior company. While chatting with one of the founders, "He said very clearly, 'If you guys are thinking about having kids, we are a very family-friendly company; we just had our second kid.'"
Litigation consultant Elleanor Chin had a similar experience while interviewing at her last firm:
"I was clear [with the firm] that I was moving to Portland because I wanted to be closer to family... I could tell that there were some senior personnel who were going out of their way to send positive signals at the firm where I ended up working that [parenthood is welcome]." Signals included things like introducing a senior partner with an emphasis on how much they enjoying spending time with their children.
Chin has logged a lot of hours as part of her former firm's hiring committee. "Generally if the woman [being interviewed] looks like she's in her 20s and has a wedding ring, that isn't an indicator either way." It's when she looks like she's in her 30s, says Chin, that it becomes a question.
If it's any consolation, she continues, "My impression, and I'm not sure whether this applies to women and men equally, is that being on the hetero married track is a plus; it's a normalizing factor."
All four women interviewed for this article agree that it's not worth it to hide a ring for the purposes of getting a job. In the words of Monica Travis: "Personally, I would not want to work for a company [that] would make negative assumptions and potentially devalue my skills based on marital status and personal life decisions."
Ultimately this question points to the need for larger changes. Paul calls for cultural revolution "like Robespierre, but really nice and no blood." Travis breaks it down, suggesting that spouses commit to equitably sharing domestic work; companies commit to valuing flexibility ("Not every position requires the standard 9-5 to get the job done"), and in the workplace, women commit to self-advocating. Ring or no ring.
Chaia Milstein is SVP of Content at Savvy. She has 10+ years of experience in journalism, copywriting, and screenwriting; she's worked as a writer/editor on Showtime and NBCUniversal properties, as well as for Viacom and various small owner-operated businesses.
This article originally appeared on Savvy (https://savvy.jobs). -- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. (http://start.westnet.ca/newstempch.php?article=terms.html/) It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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Newly engaged Monica Travis (not her real name) hadn't really given it much thought until after the fact.
She'd had a great interview, and enjoyed meeting everyone that day, including an employee -- not someone who was formally involved in the interview -- who commented on Travis's ring, mentioning how pretty it was and asking about the wedding. "This was a very positive conversation in which we willingly shared engagement stories," says Travis, "This person seemed genuinely interested and excited."
It wasn't until she got home later that Travis started worrying about the interview: "How well did I articulate my responses? How persuasive was I? How well did I know the product? Did I ask thought-provoking questions? Did I close them hard enough?"
And: "Could the fact that I'm engaged reflect negatively on me? Or is it positive?"
Michelle Diamond (also not her real name) is also currently engaged. She echoes Travis's concern that as women who look like they could bear children -- and perhaps soon -- employers will consider their marital statuses and think, "'Oh, maybe this person isn't someone who will be as available or committed to us as someone else... maybe a man, maybe someone of a different age who doesn't look like they're about to be out of the workplace for a few months, or have commitments caring for someone.' It's a competitiveness issue, compared to other candidates."
Let's back up a minute: Both of these women specifically asked not to be quoted by name because they are concerned about how that might affect their careers. And that is a real concern. In 2014, UK law firm Slater & Gordon found that 40 percent of the 500 hiring managers they surveyed admitted being "wary of hiring a woman of childbearing age." Additionally, if you're a non-gender-conforming woman, wearing a ring of any sort to an interview can look like a great invitation to get asked inappropriate questions about your personal life.
The view from down the road
Chemist by training and current VP of Program Development for a technology and product development company Kateri Paul has interviewed wearing both an engagement ring and a wedding ring. Her first engagement ring was a claddagh; because of that style of ring, "I think people thought I was already married. I stopped wearing it for a while, then we got proper engagement rings."
She comments that during that time in her career, "I'm sure it was noticed that I was thirtysomething and probably on the road to getting married, and didn't have kids, and probably was thinking about kids, but legally they can't ask you that... they try to get that info out of you."
Workplaces that are family-friendly have to go out of their way to advertise that to potential candidates. At one point, Paul's current company's founders were sharing offices with her prior company. While chatting with one of the founders, "He said very clearly, 'If you guys are thinking about having kids, we are a very family-friendly company; we just had our second kid.'"
Litigation consultant Elleanor Chin had a similar experience while interviewing at her last firm:
"I was clear [with the firm] that I was moving to Portland because I wanted to be closer to family... I could tell that there were some senior personnel who were going out of their way to send positive signals at the firm where I ended up working that [parenthood is welcome]." Signals included things like introducing a senior partner with an emphasis on how much they enjoying spending time with their children.
Chin has logged a lot of hours as part of her former firm's hiring committee. "Generally if the woman [being interviewed] looks like she's in her 20s and has a wedding ring, that isn't an indicator either way." It's when she looks like she's in her 30s, says Chin, that it becomes a question.
If it's any consolation, she continues, "My impression, and I'm not sure whether this applies to women and men equally, is that being on the hetero married track is a plus; it's a normalizing factor."
All four women interviewed for this article agree that it's not worth it to hide a ring for the purposes of getting a job. In the words of Monica Travis: "Personally, I would not want to work for a company [that] would make negative assumptions and potentially devalue my skills based on marital status and personal life decisions."
Ultimately this question points to the need for larger changes. Paul calls for cultural revolution "like Robespierre, but really nice and no blood." Travis breaks it down, suggesting that spouses commit to equitably sharing domestic work; companies commit to valuing flexibility ("Not every position requires the standard 9-5 to get the job done"), and in the workplace, women commit to self-advocating. Ring or no ring.
Chaia Milstein is SVP of Content at Savvy. She has 10+ years of experience in journalism, copywriting, and screenwriting; she's worked as a writer/editor on Showtime and NBCUniversal properties, as well as for Viacom and various small owner-operated businesses.
This article originally appeared on Savvy (https://savvy.jobs). -- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. (http://start.westnet.ca/newstempch.php?article=terms.html/) It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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