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08-11-2015, 08:07 PM
I love Christmas. It is my favorite time of year. The celebration of birth and life. The joy that radiates from the face of my children. Making our way through watching all of our favorite holiday movies, new and old. My home just feels warmer. And, my oven smells sweeter. God is present everywhere, as he always is, but more in an IN-YOUR-FACE kind of way. And, I especially love Christmas morning, preferably with snow. Beaming little faces and big ones that grow even brighter as each new surprise unfolds while we celebrate simply The Miracle.
But, I have to say, I have been supper giddy for the past week because TODAY is WAY BETTER than Christmas Morning. Forty years ago today, I greeted the world in the small town of Garden City, Kansas. (Thank you, mom and dad!) And, despite living in the big city, I'm still pretty much a small town country girl, who you can spot romping around with her kiddos in her cowgirl boots (season appropriate).
Instead of having a mid-life crisis, I'm having a MID-LIFE CELEBRATION. I have totally arrived. I feel empowered by 40. I mean, what do those 30 year olds really know? Not much, I can tell you having been one for the past 10 years. But, that was yesterday. Literally, YESTERDAY.
Now, besides simply celebrating 40 years of kicking it, I'm also celebrating 5 years almost to the day of discovering my own breast cancer. (do you hear that sound? it's me knocking on wood.) When I was diagnosed, I thought it was a death sentence. Mainly, because it actually was for my own mother. With the most aggressive kind of breast cancer and the highest grade (just read that as bad if you aren't into cancer lingo), I did not think I would be here 5 years later.
But, here I sit. LUCKY. GRATEFUL. With a PERSPECTIVE that most people don't have. And, I take that as a BIG OLD HINT. I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. Giving as best I can to my people. Giving, in some small way I hope, to you.
My journey so far has boiled down to this, which I'm guessing isn't too far off from yours. First, I was who I was. Then, I was what circumstances made me. Then, I didn't know who I was. Then, I invented a successful woman and became her. Then, I realized she wasn't quite me, so I adjusted and became who I am now.
And, I have to tell you, I think my 40 year old self is awesome -- not perfect in anyway, but evolved for certain. Perfectly, imperfect.
My 40-year-old self has learned to say NO instead of nodding YES with resentment, and continues to cultivate this practice because it is HARD. She QUITS when necessary and knows that QUITTING does not mean failure (because nothing really means failure), rather it is GROWTH. Having spent most of her life as the PEACEMAKER and PEOPLE PLEASER, she no longer cares too much of what people think, only that she does right by those who fill her home and sit at her kitchen table, regardless of when they show up. She is FEARLESS because she has walked right up to fear, embraced it and moved right on.
Yes, this simple gift of turning 40 is better than any package I could ever open or the immense joy I get from giving one.
It is better than Christmas Morning.
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But, I have to say, I have been supper giddy for the past week because TODAY is WAY BETTER than Christmas Morning. Forty years ago today, I greeted the world in the small town of Garden City, Kansas. (Thank you, mom and dad!) And, despite living in the big city, I'm still pretty much a small town country girl, who you can spot romping around with her kiddos in her cowgirl boots (season appropriate).
Instead of having a mid-life crisis, I'm having a MID-LIFE CELEBRATION. I have totally arrived. I feel empowered by 40. I mean, what do those 30 year olds really know? Not much, I can tell you having been one for the past 10 years. But, that was yesterday. Literally, YESTERDAY.
Now, besides simply celebrating 40 years of kicking it, I'm also celebrating 5 years almost to the day of discovering my own breast cancer. (do you hear that sound? it's me knocking on wood.) When I was diagnosed, I thought it was a death sentence. Mainly, because it actually was for my own mother. With the most aggressive kind of breast cancer and the highest grade (just read that as bad if you aren't into cancer lingo), I did not think I would be here 5 years later.
But, here I sit. LUCKY. GRATEFUL. With a PERSPECTIVE that most people don't have. And, I take that as a BIG OLD HINT. I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. Giving as best I can to my people. Giving, in some small way I hope, to you.
My journey so far has boiled down to this, which I'm guessing isn't too far off from yours. First, I was who I was. Then, I was what circumstances made me. Then, I didn't know who I was. Then, I invented a successful woman and became her. Then, I realized she wasn't quite me, so I adjusted and became who I am now.
And, I have to tell you, I think my 40 year old self is awesome -- not perfect in anyway, but evolved for certain. Perfectly, imperfect.
My 40-year-old self has learned to say NO instead of nodding YES with resentment, and continues to cultivate this practice because it is HARD. She QUITS when necessary and knows that QUITTING does not mean failure (because nothing really means failure), rather it is GROWTH. Having spent most of her life as the PEACEMAKER and PEOPLE PLEASER, she no longer cares too much of what people think, only that she does right by those who fill her home and sit at her kitchen table, regardless of when they show up. She is FEARLESS because she has walked right up to fear, embraced it and moved right on.
Yes, this simple gift of turning 40 is better than any package I could ever open or the immense joy I get from giving one.
It is better than Christmas Morning.
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2015-08-09-1439151389-2270638-Turning40-thumb.png (http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2015-08-09-1439151389-2270638-Turning40.png) -- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. (http://start.westnet.ca/newstempch.php?article=terms.html/) It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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