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01-19-2016, 04:55 PM
By: Daniel Genis (https://www.thrillist.com/authors/daniel-genis?utm_source=huffingtonpost&utm_medium=syn&utm_term=web&utm_campaign=home)
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2016-01-19-1453223446-6621765-hackmain-thumb.jpg (http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2016-01-19-1453223446-6621765-hackmain.jpg)
Credit: Cole Saladino/Thrillist (edited)
HACKING COMPUTERS MAKES THEM DO YOUR BIDDING; hacking your life makes it your own. And nowhere is it harder to claim the time you're allotted than in prison, where I recently did a decade for a couple of amateur robberies I committed as a heroin addict. During my years inside, I learned a few ingenious solutions to everyday problems from my fellow prisoners. Some are unnecessary (hacked typewriters and rigged Walkmans are still obsolete); others are just bad ideas (the guy who tried to whiten his teeth with bleach-soaked toilet paper wound up with snow-white dentures); and others still are both unnecessary and bad ideas (like using a rolled-up magazine to beat someone to death). However, a number of hacks have stayed with me as superbly practical. Here they are.
More: 12 Quick and Easy Home Hacks Every Renter Should Do (https://www.thrillist.com/lifestyle/nation/12-quick-and-easy-instructable-home-hacks-diy-apartment-hacks-for-your-bedroom-living-room-kitchen-bathroom?utm_source=huffingtonpost&utm_medium=syn&utm_term=web&utm_campaign=home&vc=4014)
1. The dental floss hacksaw
This hack is the reason rubber dental loops are sold in many prison commissaries instead of spools of floss. Floss is made of nylon, and it's strong enough to braid into a ladder, sew up a wound, or stitch together a dummy to take your place during the count. Chefs have a floss hack of their own; a cake cut with dental floss has sharper edges than the mess a knife can leave. You can also use floss as a hacksaw if you add toothpaste for abrasion, but that can turn into a full-time job. MythBusters tested it, and their robot took 300 eight-hour days to cut through a steel bar.
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2016-01-19-1453223618-5106850-hack1-thumb.jpg (http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2016-01-19-1453223618-5106850-hack1.jpg)
Credit: Cole Saladino/Thrillist
2. The instant screwdriver
Screwdrivers are rare inside, but as long as you smoke, or know someone who does, you have everything you need. Take a plastic pen and remove everything, leaving just the hollow plastic tube. Heat the tip with your lighter for less than a minute and press it into the screw head. Let it cool and harden, assuming the shape you need. Screw.
3. The forever stamp
Stamp collectors call them "philatelic specimens," but convicts call them money. Packs of Newport cigarettes ("bricks") are the bills in prison economics -- one was worth 10 bucks when I left -- but if you buy something worth less than that, you get change in stamps. The rate was 20 "flags" to the "brick" in 2014. But they're only worth something if they haven't been cancelled by the post office. Luckily, you can usually un-cancel them. Simply place the stamp face down on the head of a roll-on antiperspirant and wait a day. In 24 hours, the offending ink either wipes off with the swipe of a thumb, or it doesn't. It works about half the time.
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2016-01-19-1453223673-5759300-hack2-thumb.jpg (http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2016-01-19-1453223673-5759300-hack2.jpg)
Credit: Cole Saladino/Thrillist
4. The eco-friendly roach trap
Most older prisons are overrun with vermin. A dropped cookie in prison will introduce you to a swarm of ants immediately; any leftovers on a counter or table will summon roaches. The bugs come up through cracks and under doors; and your table legs are like the mall escalator to the food court. Prisoners don't have poison to deal with the infestation, but water is available in every tap. So they take plastic jar lids, place them under the legs of their table, and fill them with water. Bugs will do anything for a meal, but they won't swim. Or they can't. Which is why you'll want to empty the lids.
5. The pencil cigarette lighter
Convicts are the last American cohort to get the news that smoking kills, and prisoners have devised many ways to get around the absence of lighters in commissary. Simply connecting the two poles of a battery with a thin wire causes it to heat up enough to light a smoke. (Cool convicts make a loop that torches their coffin nail more evenly.) But since batteries are not really made for this, the "lighter" only works if is chock-full of juice; 30 cigarettes lit and you're done. If you do have a lighter and it's out of gas, you can still use it for a light. It's got flint in it, which prehistoric man struck for sparks for eons. Grind your flint into powder by turning the striker wheel backwards and collect what comes out in dry toilet paper. Now spark the lighter at the grey pile. Eventually your shower of tiny lightning will ignite the flint, which is just enough of a flame to get the paper going.
6. Lightning round: Useful workplace insights inspired by jail
A) The first guy who comes up to make friends with you in a new spot is desperate for a reason. B) Your views or opinions on something can be traded for other information. This happens without your knowledge, but the consequences can be very personal. Unleash your opinions with care. C) The easiest way to be a decent human being is to only say things about someone that you would say to them. D) This only works with amateurs, but liars often break eye contact at the very moment they speak an untruth. E) To beat a lie detector, put a thumbtack in your shoe. Prick yourself when answering every question; you will be deemed a highly emotional and unreliable witness. (You never know.)
For 5 more prison hacks even the most upright citizens can use to make their lives easier, get the full story at Thrillist.com! (https://www.thrillist.com/lifestyle/nation/11-ingenious-prison-hacks-even-law-abiding-squares-can-use?utm_source=huffingtonpost&utm_medium=syn&utm_term=web&utm_campaign=home)
More from Thrillist:
How Simple Organization Can Save You Tons of Money (https://www.thrillist.com/lifestyle/nation/how-to-save-money-by-being-organized?utm_source=huffingtonpost&utm_medium=syn&utm_term=web&utm_campaign=home)
Things No Self-Respecting Adult Should Be Doing on Facebook (https://www.thrillist.com/entertainment/nation/things-no-self-respecting-adult-should-be-doing-on-facebook?utm_source=huffingtonpost&utm_medium=syn&utm_term=web&utm_campaign=home&vc=4014)
Like Thrillist on Facebook: www.facebook.com/Thrillist (http://on.fb.me/1Of0Tel) -- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. (http://start.westnet.ca/newstempch.php?article=terms.html/) It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2016-01-19-1453223446-6621765-hackmain-thumb.jpg (http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2016-01-19-1453223446-6621765-hackmain.jpg)
Credit: Cole Saladino/Thrillist (edited)
HACKING COMPUTERS MAKES THEM DO YOUR BIDDING; hacking your life makes it your own. And nowhere is it harder to claim the time you're allotted than in prison, where I recently did a decade for a couple of amateur robberies I committed as a heroin addict. During my years inside, I learned a few ingenious solutions to everyday problems from my fellow prisoners. Some are unnecessary (hacked typewriters and rigged Walkmans are still obsolete); others are just bad ideas (the guy who tried to whiten his teeth with bleach-soaked toilet paper wound up with snow-white dentures); and others still are both unnecessary and bad ideas (like using a rolled-up magazine to beat someone to death). However, a number of hacks have stayed with me as superbly practical. Here they are.
More: 12 Quick and Easy Home Hacks Every Renter Should Do (https://www.thrillist.com/lifestyle/nation/12-quick-and-easy-instructable-home-hacks-diy-apartment-hacks-for-your-bedroom-living-room-kitchen-bathroom?utm_source=huffingtonpost&utm_medium=syn&utm_term=web&utm_campaign=home&vc=4014)
1. The dental floss hacksaw
This hack is the reason rubber dental loops are sold in many prison commissaries instead of spools of floss. Floss is made of nylon, and it's strong enough to braid into a ladder, sew up a wound, or stitch together a dummy to take your place during the count. Chefs have a floss hack of their own; a cake cut with dental floss has sharper edges than the mess a knife can leave. You can also use floss as a hacksaw if you add toothpaste for abrasion, but that can turn into a full-time job. MythBusters tested it, and their robot took 300 eight-hour days to cut through a steel bar.
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2016-01-19-1453223618-5106850-hack1-thumb.jpg (http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2016-01-19-1453223618-5106850-hack1.jpg)
Credit: Cole Saladino/Thrillist
2. The instant screwdriver
Screwdrivers are rare inside, but as long as you smoke, or know someone who does, you have everything you need. Take a plastic pen and remove everything, leaving just the hollow plastic tube. Heat the tip with your lighter for less than a minute and press it into the screw head. Let it cool and harden, assuming the shape you need. Screw.
3. The forever stamp
Stamp collectors call them "philatelic specimens," but convicts call them money. Packs of Newport cigarettes ("bricks") are the bills in prison economics -- one was worth 10 bucks when I left -- but if you buy something worth less than that, you get change in stamps. The rate was 20 "flags" to the "brick" in 2014. But they're only worth something if they haven't been cancelled by the post office. Luckily, you can usually un-cancel them. Simply place the stamp face down on the head of a roll-on antiperspirant and wait a day. In 24 hours, the offending ink either wipes off with the swipe of a thumb, or it doesn't. It works about half the time.
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2016-01-19-1453223673-5759300-hack2-thumb.jpg (http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2016-01-19-1453223673-5759300-hack2.jpg)
Credit: Cole Saladino/Thrillist
4. The eco-friendly roach trap
Most older prisons are overrun with vermin. A dropped cookie in prison will introduce you to a swarm of ants immediately; any leftovers on a counter or table will summon roaches. The bugs come up through cracks and under doors; and your table legs are like the mall escalator to the food court. Prisoners don't have poison to deal with the infestation, but water is available in every tap. So they take plastic jar lids, place them under the legs of their table, and fill them with water. Bugs will do anything for a meal, but they won't swim. Or they can't. Which is why you'll want to empty the lids.
5. The pencil cigarette lighter
Convicts are the last American cohort to get the news that smoking kills, and prisoners have devised many ways to get around the absence of lighters in commissary. Simply connecting the two poles of a battery with a thin wire causes it to heat up enough to light a smoke. (Cool convicts make a loop that torches their coffin nail more evenly.) But since batteries are not really made for this, the "lighter" only works if is chock-full of juice; 30 cigarettes lit and you're done. If you do have a lighter and it's out of gas, you can still use it for a light. It's got flint in it, which prehistoric man struck for sparks for eons. Grind your flint into powder by turning the striker wheel backwards and collect what comes out in dry toilet paper. Now spark the lighter at the grey pile. Eventually your shower of tiny lightning will ignite the flint, which is just enough of a flame to get the paper going.
6. Lightning round: Useful workplace insights inspired by jail
A) The first guy who comes up to make friends with you in a new spot is desperate for a reason. B) Your views or opinions on something can be traded for other information. This happens without your knowledge, but the consequences can be very personal. Unleash your opinions with care. C) The easiest way to be a decent human being is to only say things about someone that you would say to them. D) This only works with amateurs, but liars often break eye contact at the very moment they speak an untruth. E) To beat a lie detector, put a thumbtack in your shoe. Prick yourself when answering every question; you will be deemed a highly emotional and unreliable witness. (You never know.)
For 5 more prison hacks even the most upright citizens can use to make their lives easier, get the full story at Thrillist.com! (https://www.thrillist.com/lifestyle/nation/11-ingenious-prison-hacks-even-law-abiding-squares-can-use?utm_source=huffingtonpost&utm_medium=syn&utm_term=web&utm_campaign=home)
More from Thrillist:
How Simple Organization Can Save You Tons of Money (https://www.thrillist.com/lifestyle/nation/how-to-save-money-by-being-organized?utm_source=huffingtonpost&utm_medium=syn&utm_term=web&utm_campaign=home)
Things No Self-Respecting Adult Should Be Doing on Facebook (https://www.thrillist.com/entertainment/nation/things-no-self-respecting-adult-should-be-doing-on-facebook?utm_source=huffingtonpost&utm_medium=syn&utm_term=web&utm_campaign=home&vc=4014)
Like Thrillist on Facebook: www.facebook.com/Thrillist (http://on.fb.me/1Of0Tel) -- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. (http://start.westnet.ca/newstempch.php?article=terms.html/) It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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