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02-10-2016, 11:29 PM
I have a secret stashed away in the back of my head. One that I am afraid to share because, what will people think?
I recently tried to tell my secret in the midst of talking Mamis one afternoon, but by the way that they spoke about their lives, I think I would've been judged.
You see, I am a Mami. I am also single. And lastly: I'm happy.
There, I said it. Are you judging me yet? Are you scrunching your face wondering if I am telling the truth? Because whenever I've made that statement, that's what I am met with.
I am happy. Content with my life. With my family. And I'm tired of trying to figure out a way to explain it or word it so that people are okay with it. I'm tired of diminishing my satisfaction so that others can feel good about the state of their union or lack thereof.
No, life isn't perfect. No, I don't hate men. Yes, I still consider dating beautiful men who make me laugh. Of course I miss going out for a night on the town every once in a while.
But I am still happy. And shrinking that happiness serves no one. Packaging it up in a way that silently speaks volumes of impropriety as it relates to the social expectation of a woman of a certain age, (that'd be me) with a child and single, is something I am no longer willing to do.
Apparently, I'm not supposed to be happy and single, which is ironic because I know a ton of unhappy and married people. I didn't think they were supposed to be on that boat. And yet here we all are.
Mami was so ahead of her time. She was so liberal in her frame of thinking that it made you wonder if she indeed grew up with the social constraints that were woven into the corset that shaped life in the Dominican Republic. I began to see glimpses of what could and should be through her eyes. The "so what" lens that she used for single mothers, gay men and anyone else that weren't fitting in the "norms" of society.
So I think of her during these times. When I am forced to socialize with the world (outside of my social media) while people scrunch their foreheads when I respond to their silly questions asking if I am okay or if I am seeing someone. Neither of which, truth be told, is anyone else's business.
I smile politely and explain I am okay. Great, even. I leave the other question hanging because if you don't already know the answer to that question then I'm afraid that question is above your pay grade.
I think of the juxtaposition of my mother's life, together with my dad for almost 42 years, and mine. Never married and with a child. You might think she was rolling in the grave, but more likely she's dropping it like it's hot. With a big "get it, girl!" sign held up high above her head. She was my role model in many ways even though I walk this path that would've been unfamiliar to her.
But it all boils down to my secret. Quite simply: I am happy and no longer willing to keep quiet.
Because I am a Mami, untethered by anything other than my love for my child, and perfectly content with my life.
This will be our little secret. Okay? -- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. (http://start.westnet.ca/newstempch.php?article=terms.html/) It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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I recently tried to tell my secret in the midst of talking Mamis one afternoon, but by the way that they spoke about their lives, I think I would've been judged.
You see, I am a Mami. I am also single. And lastly: I'm happy.
There, I said it. Are you judging me yet? Are you scrunching your face wondering if I am telling the truth? Because whenever I've made that statement, that's what I am met with.
I am happy. Content with my life. With my family. And I'm tired of trying to figure out a way to explain it or word it so that people are okay with it. I'm tired of diminishing my satisfaction so that others can feel good about the state of their union or lack thereof.
No, life isn't perfect. No, I don't hate men. Yes, I still consider dating beautiful men who make me laugh. Of course I miss going out for a night on the town every once in a while.
But I am still happy. And shrinking that happiness serves no one. Packaging it up in a way that silently speaks volumes of impropriety as it relates to the social expectation of a woman of a certain age, (that'd be me) with a child and single, is something I am no longer willing to do.
Apparently, I'm not supposed to be happy and single, which is ironic because I know a ton of unhappy and married people. I didn't think they were supposed to be on that boat. And yet here we all are.
Mami was so ahead of her time. She was so liberal in her frame of thinking that it made you wonder if she indeed grew up with the social constraints that were woven into the corset that shaped life in the Dominican Republic. I began to see glimpses of what could and should be through her eyes. The "so what" lens that she used for single mothers, gay men and anyone else that weren't fitting in the "norms" of society.
So I think of her during these times. When I am forced to socialize with the world (outside of my social media) while people scrunch their foreheads when I respond to their silly questions asking if I am okay or if I am seeing someone. Neither of which, truth be told, is anyone else's business.
I smile politely and explain I am okay. Great, even. I leave the other question hanging because if you don't already know the answer to that question then I'm afraid that question is above your pay grade.
I think of the juxtaposition of my mother's life, together with my dad for almost 42 years, and mine. Never married and with a child. You might think she was rolling in the grave, but more likely she's dropping it like it's hot. With a big "get it, girl!" sign held up high above her head. She was my role model in many ways even though I walk this path that would've been unfamiliar to her.
But it all boils down to my secret. Quite simply: I am happy and no longer willing to keep quiet.
Because I am a Mami, untethered by anything other than my love for my child, and perfectly content with my life.
This will be our little secret. Okay? -- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. (http://start.westnet.ca/newstempch.php?article=terms.html/) It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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