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03-04-2016, 09:01 PM
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women (http://start.westnet.ca/newstempch.php?article=news/hpw-tweets/) page for our past collections.
Listening to Donald Trump speak is very inspirational honestly. You miss 100% of the sentences you don't make
— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) March 4, 2016 (https://twitter.com/heavenrants/status/705589422851497984)
adulthood is emailing "sorry for the delayed response!" back and forth until one of you dies
— Marissa Miller (@Marissa__Miller) February 26, 2016 (https://twitter.com/Marissa__Miller/status/703085321643278336)
my ideal presidential candidate is humble, open, and teachable so hahahahahahahah
— Nicole Chung (@nicole_soojung) February 28, 2016 (https://twitter.com/nicole_soojung/status/703739080329273345)
when ppl win awards and say "to my friends, u know who you are" what if their friends are like "??? no motherfucker i don't, say my name!!!"
— Fariha Róisín (@fariharoisin) February 29, 2016 (https://twitter.com/fariharoisin/status/704305996366151680)
People of #SuperTuesday (https://twitter.com/hashtag/SuperTuesday?src=hash) states! Don't forget to vote! Unless you're voting for a nutjob in which case, Super Tuesday is next Wednesday.
— Negin Farsad (@NeginFarsad) March 1, 2016 (https://twitter.com/NeginFarsad/status/704765145197780992)
*buys vegan soup*
*puts cheese on it*
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) March 2, 2016 (https://twitter.com/AkilahObviously/status/705093433602478080)
I'd love to say I'm one of those people who start the day with sun salutations. In reality, it's with coffee and Prozac.
— Christina Anderson (@Xtina_Anderson) March 2, 2016 (https://twitter.com/Xtina_Anderson/status/705009209058971648)
you ever been so tired you cant finish a sen
— Tracy Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) March 4, 2016 (https://twitter.com/brokeymcpoverty/status/705599293357477888)
My #LeapDay (https://twitter.com/hashtag/LeapDay?src=hash) wish is to get zero more emails about how women are "allowed" to propose today
— Emma Gray (@emmaladyrose) February 29, 2016 (https://twitter.com/emmaladyrose/status/704297336118317056)
"FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!"-Leap Day
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) February 29, 2016 (https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/704345743440666624)
You get an extra day* this year!
*Monday. You get an extra Monday this year.
— Melissa Dahl (@melissadahl) February 29, 2016 (https://twitter.com/melissadahl/status/704332296418148353)
my ex just posted on facebook about how disgusting it is that they're making a new ghostbusters pic.twitter.com/h7InlIUhUy (https://t.co/h7InlIUhUy)
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) March 3, 2016 (https://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/705489722680934400)
America is like the latest episodes of Game Of Thrones in that nerds who read all the books have no idea what the fuck is going on anymore
— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) March 2, 2016 (https://twitter.com/morninggloria/status/705009551901380609)
This is it. This is the cup of coffee that will make me interesting.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) February 29, 2016 (https://twitter.com/LizHackett/status/704328790399266816)
only goal i have left in life is to sing beyoncé's "i'm in my penthouse half naked" line & have it be true
— caitlin white (@harmonicait) February 29, 2016 (https://twitter.com/harmonicait/status/704427196878884864)
It is Super Tuesday and Justin Bieber's birthday, so please present all your election commentary in the form of Bieber lyrics.
— Chloe Angyal (@ChloeAngyal) March 1, 2016 (https://twitter.com/ChloeAngyal/status/704658693451808769)
Life's too short to not eat the [insert dessert here].
— Carly Lane (@equivocarly) March 4, 2016 (https://twitter.com/equivocarly/status/705826781660639232)
Oh The Passwords You'll Save!
a book by Dr. Seuss about my dating life
— Aude White (@audevwhite) March 2, 2016 (https://twitter.com/audevwhite/status/704859868608536577)
Donald Trump has no political experience. Meanwhile you need 5 years experience for an entry level management position at Chili's
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) March 2, 2016 (https://twitter.com/ElizaBayne/status/704869295516286976)
It's clear that Donald Trump is the kind of lover who wouldn't honor a safe word.
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) March 3, 2016 (https://twitter.com/JenKirkman/status/705270809661562880)
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. (http://start.westnet.ca/newstempch.php?article=terms.html/) It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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Listening to Donald Trump speak is very inspirational honestly. You miss 100% of the sentences you don't make
— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) March 4, 2016 (https://twitter.com/heavenrants/status/705589422851497984)
adulthood is emailing "sorry for the delayed response!" back and forth until one of you dies
— Marissa Miller (@Marissa__Miller) February 26, 2016 (https://twitter.com/Marissa__Miller/status/703085321643278336)
my ideal presidential candidate is humble, open, and teachable so hahahahahahahah
— Nicole Chung (@nicole_soojung) February 28, 2016 (https://twitter.com/nicole_soojung/status/703739080329273345)
when ppl win awards and say "to my friends, u know who you are" what if their friends are like "??? no motherfucker i don't, say my name!!!"
— Fariha Róisín (@fariharoisin) February 29, 2016 (https://twitter.com/fariharoisin/status/704305996366151680)
People of #SuperTuesday (https://twitter.com/hashtag/SuperTuesday?src=hash) states! Don't forget to vote! Unless you're voting for a nutjob in which case, Super Tuesday is next Wednesday.
— Negin Farsad (@NeginFarsad) March 1, 2016 (https://twitter.com/NeginFarsad/status/704765145197780992)
*buys vegan soup*
*puts cheese on it*
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) March 2, 2016 (https://twitter.com/AkilahObviously/status/705093433602478080)
I'd love to say I'm one of those people who start the day with sun salutations. In reality, it's with coffee and Prozac.
— Christina Anderson (@Xtina_Anderson) March 2, 2016 (https://twitter.com/Xtina_Anderson/status/705009209058971648)
you ever been so tired you cant finish a sen
— Tracy Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) March 4, 2016 (https://twitter.com/brokeymcpoverty/status/705599293357477888)
My #LeapDay (https://twitter.com/hashtag/LeapDay?src=hash) wish is to get zero more emails about how women are "allowed" to propose today
— Emma Gray (@emmaladyrose) February 29, 2016 (https://twitter.com/emmaladyrose/status/704297336118317056)
"FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!"-Leap Day
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) February 29, 2016 (https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/704345743440666624)
You get an extra day* this year!
*Monday. You get an extra Monday this year.
— Melissa Dahl (@melissadahl) February 29, 2016 (https://twitter.com/melissadahl/status/704332296418148353)
my ex just posted on facebook about how disgusting it is that they're making a new ghostbusters pic.twitter.com/h7InlIUhUy (https://t.co/h7InlIUhUy)
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) March 3, 2016 (https://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/705489722680934400)
America is like the latest episodes of Game Of Thrones in that nerds who read all the books have no idea what the fuck is going on anymore
— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) March 2, 2016 (https://twitter.com/morninggloria/status/705009551901380609)
This is it. This is the cup of coffee that will make me interesting.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) February 29, 2016 (https://twitter.com/LizHackett/status/704328790399266816)
only goal i have left in life is to sing beyoncé's "i'm in my penthouse half naked" line & have it be true
— caitlin white (@harmonicait) February 29, 2016 (https://twitter.com/harmonicait/status/704427196878884864)
It is Super Tuesday and Justin Bieber's birthday, so please present all your election commentary in the form of Bieber lyrics.
— Chloe Angyal (@ChloeAngyal) March 1, 2016 (https://twitter.com/ChloeAngyal/status/704658693451808769)
Life's too short to not eat the [insert dessert here].
— Carly Lane (@equivocarly) March 4, 2016 (https://twitter.com/equivocarly/status/705826781660639232)
Oh The Passwords You'll Save!
a book by Dr. Seuss about my dating life
— Aude White (@audevwhite) March 2, 2016 (https://twitter.com/audevwhite/status/704859868608536577)
Donald Trump has no political experience. Meanwhile you need 5 years experience for an entry level management position at Chili's
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) March 2, 2016 (https://twitter.com/ElizaBayne/status/704869295516286976)
It's clear that Donald Trump is the kind of lover who wouldn't honor a safe word.
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) March 3, 2016 (https://twitter.com/JenKirkman/status/705270809661562880)
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. (http://start.westnet.ca/newstempch.php?article=terms.html/) It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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