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03-22-2016, 03:02 PM
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OUR DAUGHTERS ARE NOT EXTENSIONS OF OUR EGOS
THEY ARE WOMEN UNTO THEMSELVES.
~Honey Good
As Mothers of adult Daughters you know, at times, it is not easy to navigate the waters of the mother-daughter relationship. As the dynamite Mother of three dynamite Daughters (my daughter-in-law included), I avoid explosions with rules that work. I will share them with you darlings, but first...
I feel it is a Mother's role and obligation to be the captain of her ship in keeping 'the peace.' All of us, darlings, as Daughters, had valleys with our mothers. All of our daughters have had valleys with us. Steering the mother-daughter relationship on a positive course may be difficult, but it can be done with grace and love.
I think back on my life as the Daughter of a very strong Mother. As her young daughter, I had a love-hate relationship with her. I think, if you asked a group of women in a room to raise their hand if they hated their moms at times in their lives, all hands would go up. I think if you asked the same group of women if they loved their mother, all hands would go up.
No relationship in my life is more far-reaching than the influence of my mother.
For that reason, I take my responsibility as mother to my girls very very seriously. I am their role model. They will carry my thoughts, my manner of showing love, my values, my laugh, my drive, my gratitude for everything, and my temperament. They will carry me with them even unconsciously just as I carry my mother, and even my grandmother's, within me! It cannot be helped. And it is the same for you, darlings.
So what do I do to man the ship into calm waters?
I THINK TWICE BEFORE SUGGESTING ONCE!
I have given myself a set of rules:
My daughters have every right to react differently to situations than I. And darlings, they do! I keep my mouth shut.
My daughters have the right to meet their own challenges without my input. If they fail, they will have to take responsibility. I keep my mouth shut!
My daughters have the right to choose their own life style, not mine. Their choice of a mate, how they raise their children, their political views, their communities, their manner of growth and empowerment. I keep my mouth shut.
I am smiling because I know the values I taught my daughters and the values you taught yours are always front and center in their thoughts. Darlings, we influence our daughters without having to say a word! We are their subconscious. We raised them with values they can't get out of their heads. They can't get away from us!
And, believe me if they need us, our phones will ring, a text will come through, an email will be in our inbox!
Our goal is to continue to be their fabulous role model mother, darlings! Show them how to age with grace and style. Show them what a wonderful grandmother you are to their children. Shower them with love and... please respect their right to follow their path. -- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. (http://start.westnet.ca/newstempch.php?article=terms.html/) It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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OUR DAUGHTERS ARE NOT EXTENSIONS OF OUR EGOS
THEY ARE WOMEN UNTO THEMSELVES.
~Honey Good
As Mothers of adult Daughters you know, at times, it is not easy to navigate the waters of the mother-daughter relationship. As the dynamite Mother of three dynamite Daughters (my daughter-in-law included), I avoid explosions with rules that work. I will share them with you darlings, but first...
I feel it is a Mother's role and obligation to be the captain of her ship in keeping 'the peace.' All of us, darlings, as Daughters, had valleys with our mothers. All of our daughters have had valleys with us. Steering the mother-daughter relationship on a positive course may be difficult, but it can be done with grace and love.
I think back on my life as the Daughter of a very strong Mother. As her young daughter, I had a love-hate relationship with her. I think, if you asked a group of women in a room to raise their hand if they hated their moms at times in their lives, all hands would go up. I think if you asked the same group of women if they loved their mother, all hands would go up.
No relationship in my life is more far-reaching than the influence of my mother.
For that reason, I take my responsibility as mother to my girls very very seriously. I am their role model. They will carry my thoughts, my manner of showing love, my values, my laugh, my drive, my gratitude for everything, and my temperament. They will carry me with them even unconsciously just as I carry my mother, and even my grandmother's, within me! It cannot be helped. And it is the same for you, darlings.
So what do I do to man the ship into calm waters?
I THINK TWICE BEFORE SUGGESTING ONCE!
I have given myself a set of rules:
My daughters have every right to react differently to situations than I. And darlings, they do! I keep my mouth shut.
My daughters have the right to meet their own challenges without my input. If they fail, they will have to take responsibility. I keep my mouth shut!
My daughters have the right to choose their own life style, not mine. Their choice of a mate, how they raise their children, their political views, their communities, their manner of growth and empowerment. I keep my mouth shut.
I am smiling because I know the values I taught my daughters and the values you taught yours are always front and center in their thoughts. Darlings, we influence our daughters without having to say a word! We are their subconscious. We raised them with values they can't get out of their heads. They can't get away from us!
And, believe me if they need us, our phones will ring, a text will come through, an email will be in our inbox!
Our goal is to continue to be their fabulous role model mother, darlings! Show them how to age with grace and style. Show them what a wonderful grandmother you are to their children. Shower them with love and... please respect their right to follow their path. -- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. (http://start.westnet.ca/newstempch.php?article=terms.html/) It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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