The Very Best Twitter Jokes About Sam Hinkie's 13-Page Resignation Letter
 

After three seasons, the Philadelphia 76ers’ “Process” has come to an end. Team general manager Sam Hinkie tendered his resignation on Wednesday, to the tune of a 13-page, 7,000-word farewell note that includes everything from philosophical musings to zoological observations to mournings of the premature death of the Blackberry smartphone.

No, seriously. The GM who’s been skewered time and time again in recent months for his “Trust the Process” mentality -- yes, we the 76ers are bloody awful, but, in a few years, with two dozen draft picks under our belt, it’ll all be worth it, we promise! -- turned in the equivalent of a term paper that was supposed to be about the Industrial Revolution, but closed with thoughts on the Amazon rainforest instead.

Some highlights:

• The use of the word “cross-pollinating.”
  
• The use of the word "Yup."
  
• "Reading your own past reasoning in your own words in your own handwriting time after time causes the tides of humility to gather at your feet. I’m often in waist-deep water here."
  
• "The illusion of control is an opiate, though." 
  
• "New Zealand’s flightless bird the moa (measuring in at 10 ft, 400 lbs.) had the life tramping around the South Island for a great long run; then the first M?ori explorers washed ashore in canoes, and that was that."
  
• "I still miss Blackberry’s keyboard, but the 2007 iPhone debut rendered it nearly obsolete to all but a few of us curmudgeons."

Of course, Twitterverse -- which loves to hate Hinkie and his petering, sputtering Process to no end -- had a field day. So, to honor Hinkie’s three-year tenure at the helm of the great Philadelphia franchise, here are a few of the very best Internet reactions to the ex-GM’s mic-drop of a resignation note:

Sam Hinkie issued a 13-page resignation letter, in which he uttered more words than in his 3 years as GM combined.
— jeff blumenthal (@PHLBizLawBank) April 7, 2016

@ESPNSteinLine @espn sad when resignation has more pages than the team has wins
— Tony (@swexpos) April 7, 2016

Hinkie wrote a 13-page resignation letter? I wonder how many drafts that took him.
— Bill Oram (@billoram) April 7, 2016

@SportsCenter @ESPNSteinLine pic.twitter.com/EqXd5QVkP3
— Quinn_Harris (@Quinton_Harris) April 7, 2016

on the positive side: hinkie said he lost 20 pounds
— ?netw3rk (@netw3rk) April 7, 2016

Sam Hinkie needed to trust the editing process.
— Eric Van Dril (@EricVanDril) April 7, 2016

FACT: Sam Hinkie is the first person with an MBA from an elite university to leave a company destitute. Look it up, it's true!
— Bobby Big Wheel (@BobbyBigWheel) April 7, 2016

Famous "WELP, that didnt work..." things, ranked:

1. 'The Process'
2. Treaty of Versailles
3. Jurassic Park
4. Mothra
5. XFL
6. Google+
— Rob Perez (@World_Wide_Wob) April 7, 2016

RIP THE PROCESS 2013-2016

WE TRUSTED YOU
— ?netw3rk (@netw3rk) April 7, 2016

If he added footnotes to a resignation letter, he lost his mind. https://t.co/YLZadoylgR
— Haralabos Voulgaris (@haralabob) April 7, 2016

Sam Hinkie had a ridiculously innovative and daring plan, and it might have worked -- if there weren't real people involved
— Dan Feldman (@DanFeldmanNBA) April 7, 2016

My best cartoons about Sam Hinkie and "The Process" https://t.co/BBDntYk3HG pic.twitter.com/reINHTroOA
— Rob Tornoe (@RobTornoe) April 7, 2016

@Sixers pic.twitter.com/Wvpb7jMvDf
— Mikelennial (@moleloco) April 7, 2016

@Sixers pic.twitter.com/aJ7LspSAy5
— Josh Epps Forst (@jeppsforst16) April 7, 2016

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.












More...