news
07-02-2015, 04:02 PM
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women (http://start.westnet.ca/newstempch.php?article=news/hpw-tweets/) page for our past collections.
I need a playlist for when I deeply consider going to the gym but then don't.
Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) July 2, 2015 (https://twitter.com/AkilahObviously/status/616443679344041985)
An edgy way to say you like cookies is say you are really into BDSM**
**butter dough sugar mounds
Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 29, 2015 (https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/615384975446294528)
i dont need to change my facebook icon to a rainbow i'm already queer i'm a fucking rainbow 365 days a year
Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/hellolanemoore/status/615702801876951040)
I don't mind sitting in traffic because it gives me time to eat a burrito before I lose my mind
AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/AmberTozer/status/615977638385942528)
Too bad there's no filter to make you look sane.
bubble girl (@JessObsess) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/JessObsess/status/615919615261196288)
I'll put so much more effort into naming my first wifi than my first child.
Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) June 28, 2015 (https://twitter.com/1followernodad/status/614960408336596992)
If I had a flat stomach, I would spend all day resting things on it. Cups. Bowls, Various dining implements. A full game of Jenga.
Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/SaraJBenincasa/status/615977082879782912)
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are divorcing. Who gets custody of Matt Damon
Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/ElizaBayne/status/615987554211368960)
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are divorcing. Now let's all try to stay calm and discuss how this will affect each of us, personally.
OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt/status/615987202519101440)
*ben starts a text*
hey j, hope all is well. i liked that i luv you papi song. maybe we could get together, give me a call sometime k bye
LW (@lindseyweber) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/lindseyweber/status/615989287423643648)
"It's just like flying a kite," I say as I run around haphazardly, trying to figure out where the wifi lives.
probably awake (@JustTashie) June 28, 2015 (https://twitter.com/JustTashie/status/615091723157508096)
Sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with a face mask on.
Ella Cerσn (@ellaceron) July 1, 2015 (https://twitter.com/ellaceron/status/616056032733827074)
I just said "indeed," so now I'm sipping brandy and polishing my walking stick.
June O'Hara (@juneohara65) June 29, 2015 (https://twitter.com/juneohara65/status/615621772965224448)
I would be mad at myself for blowing $60 at Whole Foods, but I did get 4 things so
Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) July 1, 2015 (https://twitter.com/RandiLawson/status/616034110671355904)
I know it's been a long time and I should be over it but I'm still pissed at Monica and Chandler for not raising their kids in the city.
scotus spice (@goldengateblond) July 1, 2015 (https://twitter.com/goldengateblond/status/616050939351314432)
Personally, I think showing up to work late everyday is a real power move.
Monica Ann (@Monicann86) July 1, 2015 (https://twitter.com/Monicann86/status/616288997367648260)
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant food. I try to find the food in every situation.
Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) July 1, 2015 (https://twitter.com/AbbyHasIssues/status/616288909488623616)
I'm very proud to announce my new film "Jurassic Snark". It's just two and a half hours of me talking shit about things that annoy me.
Laura Benanti (@LauraBenanti) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/LauraBenanti/status/615980605256417280)
"Magic Mike XXL" is seriously the most feminist thing I've seen since my circa 1991 homemade glitter "Keep Abortion Legal" sign.
Jennifer Weiner (@jenniferweiner) July 1, 2015 (https://twitter.com/jenniferweiner/status/616321037765070848)
It's always a nice reminder that Beyonce also loves to dance around in her underwear to Beyonce.
KB (@KaraRBrown) July 1, 2015 (https://twitter.com/KaraRBrown/status/616319047546703872)
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. (http://start.westnet.ca/newstempch.php?article=terms.html/) It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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I need a playlist for when I deeply consider going to the gym but then don't.
Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) July 2, 2015 (https://twitter.com/AkilahObviously/status/616443679344041985)
An edgy way to say you like cookies is say you are really into BDSM**
**butter dough sugar mounds
Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 29, 2015 (https://twitter.com/aparnapkin/status/615384975446294528)
i dont need to change my facebook icon to a rainbow i'm already queer i'm a fucking rainbow 365 days a year
Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/hellolanemoore/status/615702801876951040)
I don't mind sitting in traffic because it gives me time to eat a burrito before I lose my mind
AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/AmberTozer/status/615977638385942528)
Too bad there's no filter to make you look sane.
bubble girl (@JessObsess) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/JessObsess/status/615919615261196288)
I'll put so much more effort into naming my first wifi than my first child.
Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) June 28, 2015 (https://twitter.com/1followernodad/status/614960408336596992)
If I had a flat stomach, I would spend all day resting things on it. Cups. Bowls, Various dining implements. A full game of Jenga.
Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/SaraJBenincasa/status/615977082879782912)
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are divorcing. Who gets custody of Matt Damon
Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/ElizaBayne/status/615987554211368960)
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are divorcing. Now let's all try to stay calm and discuss how this will affect each of us, personally.
OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt/status/615987202519101440)
*ben starts a text*
hey j, hope all is well. i liked that i luv you papi song. maybe we could get together, give me a call sometime k bye
LW (@lindseyweber) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/lindseyweber/status/615989287423643648)
"It's just like flying a kite," I say as I run around haphazardly, trying to figure out where the wifi lives.
probably awake (@JustTashie) June 28, 2015 (https://twitter.com/JustTashie/status/615091723157508096)
Sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with a face mask on.
Ella Cerσn (@ellaceron) July 1, 2015 (https://twitter.com/ellaceron/status/616056032733827074)
I just said "indeed," so now I'm sipping brandy and polishing my walking stick.
June O'Hara (@juneohara65) June 29, 2015 (https://twitter.com/juneohara65/status/615621772965224448)
I would be mad at myself for blowing $60 at Whole Foods, but I did get 4 things so
Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) July 1, 2015 (https://twitter.com/RandiLawson/status/616034110671355904)
I know it's been a long time and I should be over it but I'm still pissed at Monica and Chandler for not raising their kids in the city.
scotus spice (@goldengateblond) July 1, 2015 (https://twitter.com/goldengateblond/status/616050939351314432)
Personally, I think showing up to work late everyday is a real power move.
Monica Ann (@Monicann86) July 1, 2015 (https://twitter.com/Monicann86/status/616288997367648260)
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant food. I try to find the food in every situation.
Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) July 1, 2015 (https://twitter.com/AbbyHasIssues/status/616288909488623616)
I'm very proud to announce my new film "Jurassic Snark". It's just two and a half hours of me talking shit about things that annoy me.
Laura Benanti (@LauraBenanti) June 30, 2015 (https://twitter.com/LauraBenanti/status/615980605256417280)
"Magic Mike XXL" is seriously the most feminist thing I've seen since my circa 1991 homemade glitter "Keep Abortion Legal" sign.
Jennifer Weiner (@jenniferweiner) July 1, 2015 (https://twitter.com/jenniferweiner/status/616321037765070848)
It's always a nice reminder that Beyonce also loves to dance around in her underwear to Beyonce.
KB (@KaraRBrown) July 1, 2015 (https://twitter.com/KaraRBrown/status/616319047546703872)
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. (http://start.westnet.ca/newstempch.php?article=terms.html/) It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
http://rc.feedsportal.com/r/233194121862/u/0/f/677045/c/35496/s/47c83282/sc/28/rc/1/rc.img (http://rc.feedsportal.com/r/233194121862/u/0/f/677045/c/35496/s/47c83282/sc/28/rc/1/rc.htm)
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