Why Is It So Easy For Men To Have An Orgasm?

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I thought I knew a lot about female sexuality, but after having sex expert Emily Nagoski come by the show, I realized how much more there was to it! Emily has been writing and educating about sex for 20 years, and has taken special interest in helping women achieve more pleasure, more often, and more confidently. She has a bestselling new book out called Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life, and we covered all the bases in our chat together.


The “Pedal” And The “Brake”

One of our most frequently asked questions is: Why are men able to achieve orgasm more easily than women? To figure this out, a lot of it depends on the science of how we arrive at orgasm in the first place. Emily describes it as a “dual control mechanism” in our brain that cooperates to lead to orgasm. One of these mechanisms is the sexual accelerator (the pedal), that responds to sexy stimulation, and tells our bodies to go after more of it! The other is a protective sexual decelerator, which responds to all of the very good reasons not to be turned on (the brake).

“Men tend to have more sensitive accelerators, and less sensitive brakes,” Emily says, “while women tend to have more sensitive brakes, and less sensitive accelerators.” They way men and women arrive at orgasm isn't so different, but women just need a little bit more stimulation and a little more comfort before they can begin engaging in pleasure. This can mean adding a vibrator to speed up the pedal, or clearing your mind to let off the brake.

Click here for Emily Nagoski's Top 3 Tips For Achieving Orgasm

What Engages The “Brake”?

It could be anything! Distractions, morals, worrying about someone coming into the room; anything that “interferes with your ability to get aroused” counts as a brake. The key, according to Emily, is identifying what is causing the brake, and figure out a practical way to get past it. Sometimes it could be something as small as wearing socks, “so that your feet don't get cold!”




Check out the full interview with Emily here.

And be sure to pick up a copy of Emily's bestselling new book, Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life!

You can submit all your questions for our future guests on Mondays with Marlo on Twitter and Facebook.




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