What's Next for Guy Fieri?

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Love him or hate him, Guy Fieri has become a staple in this country. He's as American as apple pie... covered in cheese... and ribs. Proprietor of several television shows and restaurants across the country, Fieri also rocks a line of cookware as well as his own brand of wine (which he reasonably priced at $100 a bottle). Somehow everything this guy touches turns into golden pinky rings, so what's next for the ever expanding Fieri empire?

The Fieri Snuggie

It's astonishing this collaboration hasn't been done yet. If you made a Venn diagram of Snuggie enthusiasts and Fieri fanatics, it would just be a circle. It's like introducing a NASCAR-flavored beer. The Snuggie corporation would surely enjoy a record number in sales by introducing their new, Fieri Full Throttle Snuggie Bib!



Fieri Financial Services

You guys might laugh at Fieri Financial Services, but many celebrities have created their own credit card. Madonna, Kim Kardashian, and Russell Simmons just to name a few. Visa, MasterCard, Discover, we don't know these people. I've never heard them say anything was so tasty that they'd "eat it off a flip flop!". Guy's card could lure in people who previously were suspicious of non-paper money. Plus, it'll be the only card that offers points exclusively redeemable for cheese.



Full Throttle Fizzed Up Soda

It's fine that Guy wants to try his hand at wine, but we all know it's not where he belongs. The wine world will never give him the respect or accolades he deserves. Eventually, when this wine company goes under and he needs something new to replace the beverage arm of his empire, he'll realize he wasn't meant for high society, he was meant for Guy society - and members of Guy society drink Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew Fieri Flavors would fly off the shelves.




The Fieri Academy

Celebrities have been donating money to fund or open schools for ages, but aren't there enough schools? And between taxes and bake sales don't schools have enough money already? What this country needs is a new kind of school. One that teaches kids real lessons, like how to responsibly stuff cheesecake in a jalapeno popper or how to paint flames on your mobility scooter.




Movies and TV

When Mark Wahlberg let the writers base a show on his life, we were graciously given the show Entourage. If Guy Fieri was to allow his name and likeness to be used in movies and television, it would reshape the face of media. Imagine it, Shark Tank but only for companies making Smash Mouth Spanx, or porn where pizza is delivered, eaten in its entirety, and then a half-hearted attempt at sex is made. Think about how much better the Steve Jobs movies would have been if Wozniak was replaced with Guy. These projects might not be as sophisticated or charming as Entourage, but...


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